Off-Topic Crap joke thread

Whose joke was CRAPPEST? (see page 8 for jokes)

  • TH63's Golf Cake Joke

    Votes: 6 35.3%
  • Lecter's Conductor Joke

    Votes: 11 64.7%

  • Total voters
    17
  • Poll closed .

William Smith

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Quote I Am Serious GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time
Bit of clarity needed .So I've been awarded crappiest joke 20
 

Popeye

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Jimmytaff

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William Smith

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Miss the old pubs.The one by me recently closed down it had everything real ale piano in the corner great company even the local prostitutes frequented it.But things change juke box installed fireplace ripped out designer drinks ruined the pub.And what finally finished it was the the restriction were smoking was concerned.This was the last straw were the prostitutes were concerned they weren't putting up with a Ho's pipe ban . :speek:
 

Dr. Lecter

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Miss the old pubs.The one by me recently closed down it had everything real ale piano in the corner great company even the local prostitutes frequented it.But things change juke box installed fireplace ripped out designer drinks ruined the pub.And what finally finished it was the the restriction were smoking was concerned.This was the last straw were the prostitutes were concerned they weren't putting up with a Ho's pipe ban . :speek:
Even I’m speechless.
 

The Colonel

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Miss the old pubs.The one by me recently closed down it had everything real ale piano in the corner great company even the local prostitutes frequented it.But things change juke box installed fireplace ripped out designer drinks ruined the pub.And what finally finished it was the the restriction were smoking was concerned.This was the last straw were the prostitutes were concerned they weren't putting up with a Ho's pipe ban . :speek:
f**king hell
 

Popeye

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Miss the old pubs.The one by me recently closed down it had everything real ale piano in the corner great company even the local prostitutes frequented it.But things change juke box installed fireplace ripped out designer drinks ruined the pub.And what finally finished it was the the restriction were smoking was concerned.This was the last straw were the prostitutes were concerned they weren't putting up with a Ho's pipe ban . :speek:
:facepalm:
 

PlumberAde

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PlumberAde

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Popeye

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Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe

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My wife and I met at a 'Make a Jelly in the Shape of a US President' class, and I knew she was the one, from the moment I set Eisenhower.

:coat:
 

Steve R

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Miss the old pubs.The one by me recently closed down it had everything real ale piano in the corner great company even the local prostitutes frequented it.But things change juke box installed fireplace ripped out designer drinks ruined the pub.And what finally finished it was the the restriction were smoking was concerned.This was the last straw were the prostitutes were concerned they weren't putting up with a Ho's pipe ban . :speek:

Jesus H Christ! :cry:
 

William Smith

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Jesus H Christ! :cry:

Miss the old pubs.The one by me recently closed down it had everything real ale piano in the corner great company even the local prostitutes frequented it.But things change juke box installed fireplace ripped out designer drinks ruined the pub.And what finally finished it was the the restriction were smoking was concerned.This was the last straw were the prostitutes were concerned they weren't putting up with a Ho's pipe ban . :speek:
 

Melvin Udal

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A huge grizzly bear walks into a pub and says...



Pint of cider please.
Barman says...
Why the big pause.

:coat:
 
small

William Smith

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It's after much thought and soul searching I've decided not to defend my crappest joke title. I can only hope I've inspired the next generation of crap jokes tellers.To have the Crappest joke banner on me has been honour. Don't think I can get near the lack of quality in my cv of jokes Palomine .Chestnuts and Ho's pipe to name but a few.Any joke that gets a reaction of Blasphemous content must have made people listen .I wish everyone the best of luck in this year's competition. :thumbup:
 

Popeye

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It's after much thought and soul searching I've decided not to defend my crappest joke title. I can only hope I've inspired the next generation of crap jokes tellers.To have the Crappest joke banner on me has been honour. Don't think I can get near the lack of quality in my cv of jokes Palomine .Chestnuts and Ho's pipe to name but a few.Any joke that gets a reaction of Blasphemous content must have made people listen .I wish everyone the best of luck in this year's competition. :thumbup:
I was hoping for a really crap punchline whilst reading that.
 

William Smith

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William Smith

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Mate of mine use to breed Budgerigars as a hobbie .Took it really seriously taught them to sing and talk by putting his lips to their beaks .Unfortunately he developed a unsightly rash on his mouth.He went to his Doctors and asked him what it was the the doctor replied it's the worse case of Chirrpies he'd ever seen.:hehe:
 

Gonzo mckenzie

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How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway carrier bag? Take the “S” out of safe and the “F” out of way.
 

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