Off-Topic Didn't Happen Of The Year Awards

[Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe]

A very strong early contender

 

[Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe]

What an incredible recall of a lengthy conversation

 

[Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe]

 

[Ainsley Harriott]

I'd say Iran attacking a Japanese ship & downing a drone in 'international airspace' could run those a close 2nd. Never happened.

 

[Nugent]

Can I put my sex life into the didn't happen of the year awards?

 

[Mad Al]

'me and my friend Jim' ? what fucking 10 year old is called Jim these days

 

[bluethrough™]

 

[Goslow]

All of Nid Daves stories.

 

[The Colonel]

All of Nid Daves stories.

I was a storyteller back in those days, I was younger then of course and would pitch up in town squares all over Lithuania...

 

[Mr Shitpeas]

'me and my friend Jim' ? what fucking 10 year old is called Jim these days

Its a nickname isn’t it. I doubt he was christened Jim. Not that it’s true or anything.

 

[Nid Dave]

All of Nid Daves stories.

Any one in particular?

 

[stantys tattoos]

Any one in particular?

love nids tales

 

[Nid Dave]

I was a storyteller back in those days, I was younger then of course and would pitch up in town squares all over Lithuania...

I used to do that in Estonia. We almost bumped into each other. What do you think of the forests there? Did you ever see the European Bison there or any of the wolves. Used to love going in to collect mushrooms.

 

[Nid Dave]

love nids tales

Did I ever tell you about when I was charged by a rhinoceros?

 

[stantys tattoos]

Did I ever tell you about when I was charged by a rhinoceros?

no just boris and the gang

 

[The Colonel]

Did I ever tell you about when I was charged by a rhinoceros?

What on earth did you buy off him?

 

[Arfur Ap Llewellyn Europe]

What on earth did you buy off him?

Contactless as well I'll bet. The filthy curmudgeon.

 

[stantys tattoos]

never know from nid

 

[Nid Dave]

no just boris and the gang

It was over 40 years ago when driving with my pregnant wife (first Child) and mother in law in the car. I was driving rather slowly as a warning was given that there were rhino in the area. I saw one some 100 yards away and decided to go off trail to get a closer look maybe from 30 yards. I got there and the rhino paid no attention to me so I thought I'd get a few yards closer. As I did so everyone in the car started screaming. I said calm down the rhino is doing nothing. As I did so something made me look into my rear view mirror and there gaining on me very quickly was a great big rhino wanting to skewer me (or the car to be precise). Fortunately my clutch control didn't fail me at that moment as I slipped the car into gear and just drove. The Rhino's horn got to within three feet of the car at it's closest but once I got into second and max revs I managed to get away and after what seemed like an eternity (probably ten seconds or less) it broke off the chase. Then the adrenalin kicked in and I had to stop the car just to recover. It was half an hour before I got myself together and decided to go home.

 

[stantys tattoos]

It was over 40 years ago when driving with my pregnant wife (first Child) and mother in law in the car. I was driving rather slowly as a warning was given that there were rhino in the area. I saw one some 100 yards away and decided to go off trail to get a closer look maybe from 30 yards. I got there and the rhino paid no attention to me so I thought I'd get a few yards closer. As I did so everyone in the car started screaming. I said calm down the rhino is doing nothing. As I did so something made me look into my rear view mirror and there gaining on me very quickly was a great big rhino wanting to skewer me (or the car to be precise). Fortunately my clutch control didn't fail me at that moment as I slipped the car into gear and just drove. The Rhino's horn got to within three feet of the car at it's closest but once I got into second and max revs I managed to get away and after what seemed like an eternity (probably ten seconds or less) it broke off the chase. Then the adrenalin kicked in and I had to stop the car just to recover. It was half an hour before I got myself together and decided to go home.

need a fag after that nid