Marriage

[ViewFromAfar]

after my last mrs me and the dog would stick to the alcohol and i'm trying to get her off the valium

Yr Ex or yr dog???

 

[ViewFromAfar]

It's like a Long Term Relationship but, when you get fed up, she leaves with half of everything. Worst contract negotiation ever, just cos she looks really good at the time.

Could be considered as a result if she only leaves with half....

 

[Travis Bickle]

Once you're married lots of things are all of a sudden banned!!

They never tell you that though, so much for to have and to hold

 

[Mrs Steve R]

Men eh, never happy

 

[bluethrough™]

Men eh, never happy

Seems the unmarried ones are.

 

[CCFCC3PO]

Worst decision of my life. Love my missus to bits, but it was bloody easier when we'd just pop to each others houses and have a nice date once a month.

I worked it out a while ago, if I was still single I would have about £80k saved, I would have seen places I wanted to see instead of yet another sodding beach. I would be able to retire at 57.

Now, I will be working until 67 and have savings/pension that is literally just enough to live on. She'll outlive me as well.

 

[bluethrough™]

Worst decision of my life. Love my missus to bits, but it was bloody easier when we'd just pop to each others houses and have a nice date once a month.

I worked it out a while ago, if I was still single I would have about £80k saved, I would have seen places I wanted to see instead of yet another sodding beach. I would be able to retire at 57.

Now, I will be working until 67 and have savings/pension that is literally just enough to live on. She'll outlive me as well.

I take it you only been married a few years then

 

[jon1959]

Never been married - but our 36th 'living-in-sin anniversary' is next New Years Eve!

 

[bluethrough™]

Never been married - but our 36th 'living-in-sin anniversary' is next New Years Eve!

Congratulations on the longevity of your relationship, it's nice when drunken ideas work out well.

 

[CCFCC3PO]

I take it you only been married a few years then

I had the threat of redundancy 12 months ago and she went off on one because I cancelled the installation of new windows. "It'll be alright" she said. She didn't like it when I asked to put the loan in her name though. It turned out "alright" but I grew up seeing my dad made redundant a number of times, I remember a few of my "friends" found an application for a grant for a school uniform and took the piss. I have 12 months of bills saved up that she doesn't know about but, instead of thinking that is an achievement, I think "isn't it a shame I have to keep it quiet". If she found it, she would badger me relentlessly for some sort of "essential" like new flooring or a new kitchen.

Men are practical, the 12 year old washer I had before she moved in was brilliant. We replaced it with a "better" one and have been replacing the bloody thing every 3-4 years since. Sit down to watch the football after a hard week in work and it is "what, you don't have plans to do anything this weekend?". Love, I am doing something. I'm watching football. All we want is a simple life (men that is). Wasting time on a video game, watching West Brom v Reading, watching Easy Rider, is precisely how we want to spend our lives. Our ancestors died in coal mines so that we could have a life of leisure, and to live to 80.

"Put some music on" she says. So, I put some decent music on. "Have a bit of Bowie love", "Have you ever heard Pet Sounds love, if you want to know me listen to this". But, no, she wants something she can "dance" to. The sort of music that puts me on edge for hours. "You don't listen to music for the words", apparently I have been getting music wrong all my life.

Like I say, I love her to bits. But, if she was a drinking buddy, we'd be hitting the hard stuff early on just to make the rest of life interesting.

 

[Glos Blue]

I had the threat of redundancy 12 months ago and she went off on one because I cancelled the installation of new windows. "It'll be alright" she said. She didn't like it when I asked to put the loan in her name though. It turned out "alright" but I grew up seeing my dad made redundant a number of times, I remember a few of my "friends" found an application for a grant for a school uniform and took the piss. I have 12 months of bills saved up that she doesn't know about but, instead of thinking that is an achievement, I think "isn't it a shame I have to keep it quiet". If she found it, she would badger me relentlessly for some sort of "essential" like new flooring or a new kitchen.

Men are practical, the 12 year old washer I had before she moved in was brilliant. We replaced it with a "better" one and have been replacing the bloody thing every 3-4 years since. Sit down to watch the football after a hard week in work and it is "what, you don't have plans to do anything this weekend?". Love, I am doing something. I'm watching football. All we want is a simple life (men that is). Wasting time on a video game, watching West Brom v Reading, watching Easy Rider, is precisely how we want to spend our lives. Our ancestors died in coal mines so that we could have a life of leisure, and to live to 80.

"Put some music on" she says. So, I put some decent music on. "Have a bit of Bowie love", "Have you ever heard Pet Sounds love, if you want to know me listen to this". But, no, she wants something she can "dance" to. The sort of music that puts me on edge for hours. "You don't listen to music for the words", apparently I have been getting music wrong all my life.

Like I say, I love her to bits. But, if she was a drinking buddy, we'd be hitting the hard stuff early on just to make the rest of life interesting.

Sounds like you’re married to my wife.

 

[BLUE TUESDAY]

I had the threat of redundancy 12 months ago and she went off on one because I cancelled the installation of new windows. "It'll be alright" she said. She didn't like it when I asked to put the loan in her name though. It turned out "alright" but I grew up seeing my dad made redundant a number of times, I remember a few of my "friends" found an application for a grant for a school uniform and took the piss. I have 12 months of bills saved up that she doesn't know about but, instead of thinking that is an achievement, I think "isn't it a shame I have to keep it quiet". If she found it, she would badger me relentlessly for some sort of "essential" like new flooring or a new kitchen.

Men are practical, the 12 year old washer I had before she moved in was brilliant. We replaced it with a "better" one and have been replacing the bloody thing every 3-4 years since. Sit down to watch the football after a hard week in work and it is "what, you don't have plans to do anything this weekend?". Love, I am doing something. I'm watching football. All we want is a simple life (men that is). Wasting time on a video game, watching West Brom v Reading, watching Easy Rider, is precisely how we want to spend our lives. Our ancestors died in coal mines so that we could have a life of leisure, and to live to 80.

"Put some music on" she says. So, I put some decent music on. "Have a bit of Bowie love", "Have you ever heard Pet Sounds love, if you want to know me listen to this". But, no, she wants something she can "dance" to. The sort of music that puts me on edge for hours. "You don't listen to music for the words", apparently I have been getting music wrong all my life.

Like I say, I love her to bits. But, if she was a drinking buddy, we'd be hitting the hard stuff early on just to make the rest of life interesting.

Your married to a chav are you dude

 

[BLUE TUESDAY]

I had the threat of redundancy 12 months ago and she went off on one because I cancelled the installation of new windows. "It'll be alright" she said. She didn't like it when I asked to put the loan in her name though. It turned out "alright" but I grew up seeing my dad made redundant a number of times, I remember a few of my "friends" found an application for a grant for a school uniform and took the piss. I have 12 months of bills saved up that she doesn't know about but, instead of thinking that is an achievement, I think "isn't it a shame I have to keep it quiet". If she found it, she would badger me relentlessly for some sort of "essential" like new flooring or a new kitchen.

Men are practical, the 12 year old washer I had before she moved in was brilliant. We replaced it with a "better" one and have been replacing the bloody thing every 3-4 years since. Sit down to watch the football after a hard week in work and it is "what, you don't have plans to do anything this weekend?". Love, I am doing something. I'm watching football. All we want is a simple life (men that is). Wasting time on a video game, watching West Brom v Reading, watching Easy Rider, is precisely how we want to spend our lives. Our ancestors died in coal mines so that we could have a life of leisure, and to live to 80.

"Put some music on" she says. So, I put some decent music on. "Have a bit of Bowie love", "Have you ever heard Pet Sounds love, if you want to know me listen to this". But, no, she wants something she can "dance" to. The sort of music that puts me on edge for hours. "You don't listen to music for the words", apparently I have been getting music wrong all my life.

Like I say, I love her to bits. But, if she was a drinking buddy, we'd be hitting the hard stuff early on just to make the rest of life interesting.

I hope you remind her every day , how lucky she is , also very lucky to listen to quality tunes every day

 

[deleted]

Men eh, never happy

I heard you never married Disco Dave because you said the thought of him giving you a finger ring was quite emetic.

 

[Mrs Steve R]

I heard you never married Disco Dave because you said the thought of him giving you a finger ring was quite emetic.

He's never asked

 

[deleted]

He's never asked

he clearly doesn't know you. What woman doesn't love a finger ring?

 

[TH63]

 

[Heisenberg]

My ex wife left with a lot more than half!

I didn’t learn my lesson and got married again. I don’t know if it’s just my bad luck but both my wives turned into psychos after getting the ring on their finger. Anyone else experienced this?

Yes.

I noticed that both of your wives turned into psychos too.

 

[Heisenberg]

Sorry FKC

 

[BLUE TUESDAY]

I’m getting married next year, shall I call it off?

Just set rules mate ,
Let her know how fortunate she is