Viz Top Tips

Sam1927

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Over 70 pages of hilarious Viz Top Tips

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Cantonend

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CONVINCE people you're Tom Cruise by jumping off your neighbours roof and then limping away sheepishly.
 

Cantonend

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TV PRESENTERS. You won't see me after the break. That's not how television works.
 

Jonesy

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RECREATE a New York deli experience by eating a stale bap with a hole poked through it and declaring it "supoib".
 

Jonesy

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SAUSAGES are a delicious alternative to vegetarian sausages.
 

Sam1927

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TRICK people into thinking that you've been to the gym by being boring, hungry & sweaty.
 

Nugent

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Shoplifters ... walk backwards into shops, so if you get caught by security, when the cctv footage is rewound , you can prove you already left shop before crime was committed
 

Jonesy

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ALWAYS keep a hammer next to your wireless in case a DJ says "Next up, Mumford and Sons".
 

Cantonend

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FOOTBALLERS. Embark on a scintillating run of goalscoring form by simply having me take you out of my Fantasy Football team.
 

Cantonend

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For anyone worried about their GCSE results, remember that it's too late to stop climate change & most of you will die fighting for water.
 

Sam1927

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CONVINCE people you're a New Zealander by protesting that you sound nothing like an Australian in an Australian accent.
 

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