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www.bbc.co.uk
Aston Villa goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez will miss Argentina's next two games after being banned by Fifa for "offensive behaviour".
The suspension relates to two incidents in 2026 World Cup qualifiers against Chile and Colombia this month.
Martinez repeated his infamous celebrations after the 2022 World Cup triumph by holding a replica Copa America trophy against his crotch following the 3-0 win over Chile on 6 September.
FOOTBALL OFF-TOPIC FUN BETS
FOOTBALL OFF-TOPIC FUN BETS
FOOTBALL OFF-TOPIC FUN BETS
Chrissakes. Clueless.
Emiliano Martinez: Argentina & Aston Villa keeper banned for 'offensive behaviour'
Aston Villa goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez will miss two World Cup qualifiers for Argentina.
www.bbc.co.uk
Aston Villa goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez will miss Argentina's next two games after being banned by Fifa for "offensive behaviour".
The suspension relates to two incidents in 2026 World Cup qualifiers against Chile and Colombia this month.
Martinez repeated his infamous celebrations after the 2022 World Cup triumph by holding a replica Copa America trophy against his crotch following the 3-0 win over Chile on 6 September.
Games goneEmiliano Martinez: Argentina & Aston Villa keeper banned for 'offensive behaviour'
Aston Villa goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez will miss two World Cup qualifiers for Argentina.
Aston Villa goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez will miss Argentina's next two games after being banned by Fifa for "offensive behaviour".
The suspension relates to two incidents in 2026 World Cup qualifiers against Chile and Colombia this month.
Martinez repeated his infamous celebrations after the 2022 World Cup triumph by holding a replica Copa America trophy against his crotch following the 3-0 win over Chile on 6 September.
Should be in the Crap Jokes thread, be warned, not even mildly amusing, even Stuart Hall (pre-convictions) wouldn't laugh at this, you have been warned.
Ten Hag walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?" Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?" Ten Hag:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Erik ten Hag, Manager of Manchester United”. Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID." Ten Hag: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am." Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Hag but these are the bank rules and I must follow them." Ten Hag:"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque." Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque." "Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?" Erik stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue." Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Ten Hag?”
Ten Hag walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?" Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?" Ten Hag:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Erik ten Hag, Manager of Manchester United”. Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID." Ten Hag: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am." Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Hag but these are the bank rules and I must follow them." Ten Hag:"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque." Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque." "Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?" Erik stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue." Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Ten Hag?”
Bloody hell, I've always found him to be quite magnanimous, but he sounds really bitter here. With their recent performances, De Bruyne's reluctance to sign a contract, you wonder if the players have an inkling they're going to get relegated with the financial fair play thing?
