Crap joke thread

[William Smith]

A man walks into a bar. He has an orange for a head. The bartender pours him a drink and says: “So—you want to tell me about it?”

“Well, I was walking on the beach,” says the man with an orange for a head. “I found an old lamp in the sand and took it home. When I polished the lamp, a genie came out and offered me three wishes in return for setting him free. Thinking it was some sort of trick, I offhandedly wished for a million dollars. Instantly, the doorbell rang. A man had arrived to tell me I’d won a mail-order sweepstakes for exactly a million dollars. So I returned to the genie and wished I could have sex with every Playmate of the Month for last year. The doorbell rang again—and all 12 pinup girls came prancing in, at my service. I went back to the genie a third time,” says the man with an orange for a head, “and I think this may have been where I made my mistake.”


“What did you do?” says the bartender.

“I wished to have an orange for a head.”

And still the crappiest joke 2021 champion me

 

[William Smith]

At the Barbers yesterday and who walks in non other than Marlon Pack sits down in the chair and the barber says what you having .Marlon says something that reflects my style on the pitch .So the Barber says short back and sideways it is then

 

[Jimmytaff]

The only joke I've seen so far seriously trying to reclaim the banner for shittest joke so far. If you don't sphinx so you're in de Nile.

 

[Dr. Graham Gaylord Lecter]

BREAKING: Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that due to the new Indian covid variant people will now be offered the Pun jab

 

[Dr. Graham Gaylord Lecter]

And still the crappiest joke 2021 champion me

Here’s one just for you.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Follow the fresh prints.

 

[William Smith]

It's overwhelming to be voted the crappiest joke 2021.To beat some truly dreadfull jokes is an honour and I'd like to wish my fellow competitors all the best.And I will endeavour to keep up my poor standards.

 

[Steve R]

BREAKING: Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that due to the new Indian covid variant people will now be offered the Pun jab

Vindaflu variant. 3 people have ended up in a Korma. Watch you don't pass it on to your Naan.

 

[bluethrough™]

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, it was an iron bar

 

[stantys tattoos]

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, it was an iron bar

keep to the bargoed jokes mate

 

[bluethrough™]

keep to the bargoed jokes mate

That was quoting a bloody funny Caerphilly man if you don't mind


Anyway me and Bargoed are done

 

[stantys tattoos]

That was quoting a bloody funny Caerphilly man if you don't mind


Anyway me and Bargoed are done

@Dr Lecter?

 

[bluethrough™]

Yes it was @Dr Lecter ......that should end his funniest poster dreams

 

[Dr. Graham Gaylord Lecter]

Yes it was @Dr Lecter ......that should end his funniest poster dreams

Luckily I’m 6ft 4 so I’ll still win something.

 

[bluethrough™]

Luckily I’m 6ft 4 so I’ll still win something.

And as I look quite dashing in my mask, it puts me in with a shout of the good looking poster

 

[William Smith]

A Polar bear walks into a bar and the barman says we don't get many Polar bears in here .The Polar bear replies at £9.59 a pint I'm not surprised . Anyway the barman says what you having I'll have a Smirnoff ice and """"'""""""'''""""""""""''"""""'""""""""""""""""'''"' and a packet of scampi fries and the barman says why the big Paws

 

[Jimmytaff]

Luckily I’m 6ft 4 so I’ll still win something.

Sorry, I'm 6ft 4 and a half. Gutted!

 

[Jimmytaff]

An English man, a Welsh man and an Irish Man walk into a pub. The barman says is this some kind of joke?

Shakespeare walks into a pub and asks for a pint of SA. Barman says I'm not serving you - you're bard

 

[The Colonel]

 

[William Smith]

Sorry, I'm 6ft 4 and a half. Gutted!

Size doesn't matter I'm only 6ft

 

[Jimmytaff]

Size doesn't matter I'm only 6ft

I'm actually just shy of 6ft. Was just trying to shit on @Dr Lecter 's parade