Off-Topic Crap joke thread

[Steve R]

I thought you were better than that.

No you didn't.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet and he sent me a goat with a long neck.
Turns out I'd phoned Dial-a-Llama.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet and he sent me a goat with a long neck.
Turns out I'd phoned Dial-a-Llama.

Reminds me of the time when the spiritual leader of Tibet started a doorbell company with the former president of the USA.

Obama Llama Ding Dong.

 

[Melvin Udal]

Reminds me of the time when the spiritual leader of Tibet started a doorbell company with the former president of the USA.

Obama Llama Ding Dong.

 

[Jimmytaff]

Reminds me of the time when the spiritual leader of Tibet started a doorbell company with the former president of the USA.

Obama Llama Ding Dong.

 

[Blue Job]

Fair play to our NHS who get a lot of unjustified criticism these days. Went in this week to have a mole removed from my arse and they were so professional and helpful. Unlike the RSPCA I might add, who said they’ll prosecute me if it happens again.

 

[Blue Job]

 

[DeadDeadGang]

Apparently they are making an Artificial Intelligence system specifically for people from Newcastle.
It's going to be called Y I.

 

[Dr. Lecter]

Apparently they are making an Artificial Intelligence system specifically for people from Newcastle.
It's going to be called Y I.

 

[Melvin Udal]

Join your queue

 

[Steve R]

[UWSL]I went to a Nightclub last week and said, 'Do you do a Seventies night?'

The Manager said, 'We used to.'[/UWSL]

 

[Jimmytaff]

[UWSL]I went to a Nightclub last week and said, 'Do you do a Seventies night?'[/UWSL]

[UWSL]The Manager said, 'We used to.'[/UWSL]

 

[stantys tattoos]

[UWSL]I went to a Nightclub last week and said, 'Do you do a Seventies night?'[/UWSL]

[UWSL]The Manager said, 'We used to.'[/UWSL]

 

[Blue Job]

An American walks into an Irish pub. He asks the patrons, " I'll bet $500 that none of you can drink 10 pints of Guinness in 10 minutes." People raise their heads but ignore the absurd bet and go back to drinking and merry making, except an Irishman who leaves the bar. Some time passes and the Irishman comes back in the pub and approaches the American. "Is yer bet still on the table?" The American replies, "Sure it is! Bartender get this man his drinks." The bartender lines up 10 pints of Guinness on the bar. The Irishman starts drinking and drinks up all the Guinness in less than 10 minutes. Astonished the American hands over the money and asks, "Well, may I ask where you went earlier?" The Irishman replies with a smirk, "I went to the pub next door to see if I could do it."

 

[Gladitsfriday]

Franz Schubert apparently died at the seaside when he went into the sea .Headline at the time Schubert dip ends in tragedy .

 

[Jimmytaff]

Franz Schubert apparently died at the seaside when he went into the sea .Headline at the time Schubert dip ends in tragedy .

 

[Steve R]

Played a U2-themed board game called "Bonopoly."

It's like regular Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

 

[jon1959]

Played a U2-themed board game called "Bonopoly."

It's like regular Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

Go directly to gaol!

 

[stantys tattoos]

Played a U2-themed board game called "Bonopoly."

It's like regular Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

 

[Norris Cole]

What do you a call a prime minister that can't speak properly?

Kier Stammer.