Crap joke thread

[The Colonel]

Why don't kids in North Wales play on concrete with their new footballs?

Cos it Wrexham

 

[Melvin Udal]

Washing the dishes earlier today when an owl flew into the kitchen, my Mrs screamed and said

What the hells going on and what kind of owl is this?

I calmly replied...

 

[stantys tattoos]

Why don't kids in North Wales play on concrete with their new footballs?

Cos it Wrexham

 

[stantys tattoos]

Washing the dishes earlier today when an owl flew into the kitchen, my Mrs screamed and said

What the hells going on and what kind of owl is this?

I calmly replied...

 

[Umut Bozok]

There was once a man who had an obsession for tractors. His walls were covered in posters of tractors, his mantelpiece covered in tractor plates. Tractors tractors tractors all over his house. His wife, naturally, because she was sane, hated it. So she gave him the ultimatum - the tractors or her. After much thought he decided to get rid of the tractors and promptly took all of the memorabilia to the dump. He returned home to find his house on fire and that the smoke was preventing his wife and kids from finding the door. So the man took a massive deep breath. He sucked in with all his might. The smoke sucked out of the house and his family escaped. Later on, a firefighter asked him how he did it. "That's easy," he replied. "I'm an extractor fan".

 

[Boo]

There was once a man who had an obsession for tractors. His walls were covered in posters of tractors, his mantelpiece covered in tractor plates. Tractors tractors tractors all over his house. His wife, naturally, because she was sane, hated it. So she gave him the ultimatum - the tractors or her. After much thought he decided to get rid of the tractors and promptly took all of the memorabilia to the dump. He returned home to find his house on fire and that the smoke was preventing his wife and kids from finding the door. So the man took a massive deep breath. He sucked in with all his might. The smoke sucked out of the house and his family escaped. Later on, a firefighter asked him how he did it. "That's easy," he replied. "I'm an extractor fan".

 

[Melvin Udal]

There was once a man who had an obsession for tractors. His walls were covered in posters of tractors, his mantelpiece covered in tractor plates. Tractors tractors tractors all over his house. His wife, naturally, because she was sane, hated it. So she gave him the ultimatum - the tractors or her. After much thought he decided to get rid of the tractors and promptly took all of the memorabilia to the dump. He returned home to find his house on fire and that the smoke was preventing his wife and kids from finding the door. So the man took a massive deep breath. He sucked in with all his might. The smoke sucked out of the house and his family escaped. Later on, a firefighter asked him how he did it. "That's easy," he replied. "I'm an extractor fan".

Jesus.

 

[Melvin Udal]

Washing the dishes earlier today when an owl flew into the kitchen, my Mrs screamed and said

What the hells going on and what kind of owl is this?

I calmly replied...

I calmly replied...

 

[Popeye]

There was once a man who had an obsession for tractors. His walls were covered in posters of tractors, his mantelpiece covered in tractor plates. Tractors tractors tractors all over his house. His wife, naturally, because she was sane, hated it. So she gave him the ultimatum - the tractors or her. After much thought he decided to get rid of the tractors and promptly took all of the memorabilia to the dump. He returned home to find his house on fire and that the smoke was preventing his wife and kids from finding the door. So the man took a massive deep breath. He sucked in with all his might. The smoke sucked out of the house and his family escaped. Later on, a firefighter asked him how he did it. "That's easy," he replied. "I'm an extractor fan".

Well I liked it

 

[Melvin Udal]

Well I liked it

What! Go watch strictly u maniac

 

[Umut Bozok]

Well I liked it

remit fulfilled

 

[Melvin Udal]

I calmly replied...

Love, relax...

 

[William Smith]

There was once a man who had an obsession for tractors. His walls were covered in posters of tractors, his mantelpiece covered in tractor plates. Tractors tractors tractors all over his house. His wife, naturally, because she was sane, hated it. So she gave him the ultimatum - the tractors or her. After much thought he decided to get rid of the tractors and promptly took all of the memorabilia to the dump. He returned home to find his house on fire and that the smoke was preventing his wife and kids from finding the door. So the man took a massive deep breath. He sucked in with all his might. The smoke sucked out of the house and his family escaped. Later on, a firefighter asked him how he did it. "That's easy," he replied. "I'm an extractor fan".

 

[William Smith]

The king is dead long live the queen

 

[Umut Bozok]

substitute teacher is doing the attendance one day when she sees the name "HIJKM" next up

she says "I'm really sorry love but I but I don't know how to pronounce your name"

student turns around and says "it's noelle"

 

[Umut Bozok]

why do forks have four tines?

 

[Jimmytaff]

substitute teacher is doing the attendance one day when she sees the name "HIJKM" next up

she says "I'm really sorry love but I but I don't know how to pronounce your name"

student turns around and says "it's noelle"

@The Colonel is it possible to add another crappest joke of the year 2022 banner

 

[Umut Bozok]

why do forks have four tines?

cos if they had one less they'd be threeks

 

[Jimmytaff]

cos if they had one less they'd be threeks

 

[Face Paint]

Ordered 4 Kindles from Amazon and they sent me a Two Ronnie's DVD.